Skip to main content
The New Yorker
  • Newsletter
  • The Latest
  • News
  • Books & Culture
  • Fiction & Poetry
  • Humor & Cartoons
  • Magazine
  • Puzzles & Games
  • Video
  • Podcasts
  • Goings On
  • Shop
  • 100th Anniversary
The New Yorker
Shorts & Murmurs

What I Imagine My Boyfriend’s Ex-Girlfriends Are Doing Right Now

Your partner’s exes can get inside your head—and they might just enjoy a few mimosas while they’re in there.
By Hallie Cantor
February 23, 2026

Read Hallie Cantor’s piece “What I Imagine My Boyfriend’s Ex-Girlfriends Are Doing Right Now.”

More Humor and Cartoons

  • Why you’re considered attractive.

  • I’ll start this new project just as soon as all conditions in my life are perfect.

  • More precise names for the “Personal Life” section on Wikipedia.

  • It’s becoming pretty clear that something is going on with the crossword constructor.

  • I’m a teacher and I do, in fact, live at school.

  • Hinder: a dating app for emotionally unavailable men.

Enter the Cartoon Caption Contest for a chance to appear in the magazine.

Follow @newyorkercartoons on Instagram and sign up for the Daily Humor newsletter for more funny stuff.

Hallie Cantor is a TV writer and an author based in Los Angeles. Her first novel is “Like This, But Funnier.”
Read More
What Is Love?
Shouts & Murmurs
What Is Love?
What Is Love?
How do you expect someone to find love, when they don’t even know what love is?
What to Do When Your Spouse Doesn’t Notice You’re Down
Shouts & Murmurs
What to Do When Your Spouse Doesn’t Notice You’re Down
What to Do When Your Spouse Doesn’t Notice You’re Down
Make noise. A lot of noise. Imagine you’ve just encountered a bear.
How to Break Up with Your Phone
Shouts & Murmurs
How to Break Up with Your Phone
How to Break Up with Your Phone
He knows your rhythms, your insecurities, your REM cycle—your cycle. He’s made himself needed, and now you don’t exist without one another.
Why You’re Considered Attractive
Humor
Why You’re Considered Attractive
Why You’re Considered Attractive
If you are deemed attractive while sitting on the toilet, call the police. You are being spied on by a pervert. It might be time to plaster over the peephole in your bathroom wall.
Is This Waymo a Better Person Than You?
Humor
Is This Waymo a Better Person Than You?
Is This Waymo a Better Person Than You?
What about the time it parked perfectly between two lines on the first try, despite you having spent your entire life contorting to fit in—socially, emotionally, and physically?
Our Company’s New Team Support Space
Humor
Our Company’s New Team Support Space
Our Company’s New Team Support Space
Please see the employee-efficiency team if you would like to schedule an organizational-issue-repair conversation, as those are best done in private.
Discovering Where Your Interests Lie
Humor
Discovering Where Your Interests Lie
Discovering Where Your Interests Lie
Your interest in baking is a lie, although your interest in baked goods remains very much true.
I Will Be Your Next President
Shouts & Murmurs
I Will Be Your Next President
I Will Be Your Next President
You’re going to love my ability to nod and smile while people awkwardly thank me. White bread, straight ahead. That’ll be my slogan.
Maybe She’s Born With It. Maybe It’s . . . Something Else
Shorts & Murmurs
Maybe She’s Born With It. Maybe It’s . . . Something Else
Maybe She’s Born With It. Maybe It’s . . . Something Else
Some women seem to have it all. How do they make it look so effortless?
Bonus Daily Cartoon: Stupid Cupid
Humor
Bonus Daily Cartoon: Stupid Cupid
Bonus Daily Cartoon: Stupid Cupid
A drawing that riffs on the latest news and happenings.
Laugh Lines No. 58: At the Grocery Store
Laugh Lines
Laugh Lines No. 58: At the Grocery Store
Laugh Lines No. 58: At the Grocery Store
Can you guess when these New Yorker cartoons were originally published?
Introducing Our Mind-Blowing Virtual-Reality App
Shorts & Murmurs
Introducing Our Mind-Blowing Virtual-Reality App
Introducing Our Mind-Blowing Virtual-Reality App
Think you know what reading is? Think again. Test-driving The New Yorker’s newest technological breakthrough.
The New Yorker

  • News
  • Books & Culture
  • Fiction & Poetry
  • Humor & Cartoons
  • Magazine
  • Crossword
  • Video
  • Podcasts
  • 100th Anniversary
  • Goings On

  • Manage Account
  • Shop The New Yorker
  • Buy Covers and Cartoons
  • Condé Nast Store
  • Digital Access
  • Subscribe
  • Newsletters
  • Jigsaw Puzzle
  • RSS
  • Site Map
  • About
  • Careers
  • Contact
  • F.A.Q.
  • Media Kit
  • Press
  • Accessibility Help
  • User Agreement
  • Privacy Policy
  • Your California Privacy Rights

© 2026 Condé Nast. All rights reserved. The New Yorker may earn a portion of sales from products that are purchased through our site as part of our Affiliate Partnerships with retailers. The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except with the prior written permission of Condé Nast. Ad Choices

  • Instagram
  • Tiktok
  • Threads
  • X
  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • YouTube